A Delightful Lunch with Thai Staff
Yesterday was the last day in the office for awhile for Khun Sutathip, the senior of the two Thai lawyers who work for me. She is due to have her first baby within the next week or so, and she will be taking a three-month maternity leave. Her departure coincides with the upcoming holiday break, so I took her and our junior lawyer (Khun May) and our administrative assistant (Khun Lee) out to lunch at a nearby Japanese restaurant.
Before we headed for lunch, I presented K. Sutathip with a "playpen" for her baby. Here are a couple of pictures of her opening the gift in my office.
We had a nice time at lunch, much of which was devoted to talk of Sutathip's baby. I asked whether Sutathip and her husband had picked out a name yet for their anticipated daughter. Sutathip explained that it's not common to select the proper Thai name for a child until some time after the birth, but they already had selected the baby's nickname. A little background is required here.
All Thais have a nickname that typically is much shorter and easier to pronounce than their formal name. Sutathip's nickname is Koi, while her full name is Sutathip Kallayawinai. Since her first name isn't too difficult to say, I've never used her nickname, but in most cases, a Thai's nickname is much easier for everyone to remember and pronounce. For example, we have a close friend whose proper name is Chawanlak Kriengparinyakij, but her nickname (thankfully) is Lydia.
So, back to Sutathip's baby. Sutathip informed us that the nickname she and her husband had selected for their daughter is Eames. I asked how they had come to choose this name, thinking it perhaps is the surname of one of their relatives. Not so. It turns out this is the name of the furniture company that makes her husband's favorite chair. I was a bit taken aback at this explanation and couldn't help but wonder whether they might have named their baby "Lazy Boy" had they been expecting a son, but hey, it's their culture, so who are we to judge?!
Another topic we discussed at length over lunch are cultural differences between Thais and Westerners about what are acceptable topics for conversation. Quite a few of our Western friends have reported being flabbergasted and dismayed to have Thais casually observe, to their face, that they are overweight, as when a friend of mine returned to the office from vacation and a member of Thai staff smiled broadly and said, "Khun Bob, you look fat!" My friend wasn't at all pleased to hear this, and as you can imagine, Western women are usually even more emotionally distraught to hear such comments made about them. Sutathip, May and Lee all assured me that such statements are made without any malice. Sometimes, they actually are intended to be positive observations that the "fat" person clearly is prosperous and must be enjoying a good life. Mostly, though, they are just honest assessments that Thais don't hesitate to make aloud. They will even make frank comments about their own weight, such as refusing an offer of food by saying, "Sorry, cannot--I'm too fat!" I've had Thais express genuine curiosity about why Westerners don't feel free to say what they believe, and Khun May even defended her friends' practice of commenting on her own weight by saying that, if her friends didn't point out when she was getting fat, she might overlook this herself.
Here's a couple more pictures from our very enjoyable lunch, which left all of us, I think, with a better understanding of our respective cultures:
That's K. May on the left and K. Sutathip on the right, with neither of them sporting an ounce of fat--except for Sutathip's temporary pregnancy weight, of course. And below is a photo of Khun Lee, who is a terrific assistant and just a delight to work with.
Before we headed for lunch, I presented K. Sutathip with a "playpen" for her baby. Here are a couple of pictures of her opening the gift in my office.
We had a nice time at lunch, much of which was devoted to talk of Sutathip's baby. I asked whether Sutathip and her husband had picked out a name yet for their anticipated daughter. Sutathip explained that it's not common to select the proper Thai name for a child until some time after the birth, but they already had selected the baby's nickname. A little background is required here.All Thais have a nickname that typically is much shorter and easier to pronounce than their formal name. Sutathip's nickname is Koi, while her full name is Sutathip Kallayawinai. Since her first name isn't too difficult to say, I've never used her nickname, but in most cases, a Thai's nickname is much easier for everyone to remember and pronounce. For example, we have a close friend whose proper name is Chawanlak Kriengparinyakij, but her nickname (thankfully) is Lydia.
So, back to Sutathip's baby. Sutathip informed us that the nickname she and her husband had selected for their daughter is Eames. I asked how they had come to choose this name, thinking it perhaps is the surname of one of their relatives. Not so. It turns out this is the name of the furniture company that makes her husband's favorite chair. I was a bit taken aback at this explanation and couldn't help but wonder whether they might have named their baby "Lazy Boy" had they been expecting a son, but hey, it's their culture, so who are we to judge?!
Another topic we discussed at length over lunch are cultural differences between Thais and Westerners about what are acceptable topics for conversation. Quite a few of our Western friends have reported being flabbergasted and dismayed to have Thais casually observe, to their face, that they are overweight, as when a friend of mine returned to the office from vacation and a member of Thai staff smiled broadly and said, "Khun Bob, you look fat!" My friend wasn't at all pleased to hear this, and as you can imagine, Western women are usually even more emotionally distraught to hear such comments made about them. Sutathip, May and Lee all assured me that such statements are made without any malice. Sometimes, they actually are intended to be positive observations that the "fat" person clearly is prosperous and must be enjoying a good life. Mostly, though, they are just honest assessments that Thais don't hesitate to make aloud. They will even make frank comments about their own weight, such as refusing an offer of food by saying, "Sorry, cannot--I'm too fat!" I've had Thais express genuine curiosity about why Westerners don't feel free to say what they believe, and Khun May even defended her friends' practice of commenting on her own weight by saying that, if her friends didn't point out when she was getting fat, she might overlook this herself.
Here's a couple more pictures from our very enjoyable lunch, which left all of us, I think, with a better understanding of our respective cultures:
That's K. May on the left and K. Sutathip on the right, with neither of them sporting an ounce of fat--except for Sutathip's temporary pregnancy weight, of course. And below is a photo of Khun Lee, who is a terrific assistant and just a delight to work with.
posted by Paul Steinkraus at 5:09 AM
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